[update: this made Best Of]
The world has long needed a place to post anonymous but open letters. “Missed Connections” has long seen many of the “I just wanted to say you’re beautiful” sort, but rarely anything along these lines:

Hey neighbor! It�s me, the guy who lives one floor below you. We�ve traded brief hellos in the stairway or vestibule, but not much more than that… [I]t wasn�t only the girl-sex that piqued my curiosity, it was the apparently prominent role that your vacuum cleaner, or some other mechanical device, played in your Sapphic encounters. That and the fact that you both seemed to rile yourselves up by chasing each other around the room, rearranging the furniture, or some combination of the two. Now, as a hetero guy, I don�t claim to know the first thing about lesbian arousal… So I just assumed that you�d be turned on by the very same things that turn most people on — like, say, the sight of your partner naked, well-executed oral sex, the occasional dirty word, and so on. But the vacuum cleaner?! What, I ask, the fuck was up with that?!